“It was said also, Whosoever shall put away his wife, let him give her a writing of divorcement: but I say unto you, that every one that putteth away his wife, saving for the cause of fornication, maketh her an adulteress . . .”

In Christ’s day, Jewish marriages were arranged. The parents of the bridegroom would select a spouse for their son and meet with her family to negotiate a suitable dowry. In some respects, at least outwardly, it was a business transaction. Romance, if any, was expected to follow the marriage ceremony.

If the marriage didn't work out, the man could simply end it by handing his wife a bill of divorce. She would leave the marriage with nothing more than her clothing and the jewelry she had worn on her wedding day.

Jesus challenged the Jews’ thinking about divorce just as He would most certainly challenge America’s thinking on marriage and divorce. The latest census figures show that a married couple now heads only in four American homes. Today’s norm is the “alternative lifestyle.” The very term “lifestyle” didn’t even appear in Webster’s dictionary until 1972. But today it defines a way of living that is casual, non-committal, highly individualistic and hedonistic. In the alternative lifestyle, divorce is commonplace.

According to the Heritage Foundation, “Each year, over one million American children suffer the divorce of their parents; moreover, half of the children born this year to parents who are married will see their parents divorce before they turn 18.”

Divorce, even when it is amicable, strikes at the very cornerstone of American society. But in many cases the divorce is not amicable. There are legal issues such as property valuation and division, taxes, custody, visitation rights, schooling and child support, any one of which can poison the negotiations.

Too often, the children become foils in a protracted divorce duel that leaves them deeply wounded and scarred for life. Many children of divorce are reduced to living in poverty (17 million of them are not receiving court awarded child support). They  have more health and emotional problems; a higher school drop-out rate; and greater involvement with the criminal justice system.

While, in some cases, divorce may be the best alternative, it should also be the last resort. Many ministries and organizations stand ready to counsel couples interested in strengthening their marriage bonds. Marriage Encounter is one such ministry.

Marriage Encounter sponsors a weekend retreat in locales throughout the country and for a wide variety of religious denominations. The weekend is an opportunity for couples 'to meet' one another again; 'to renew' their relationship through communication; and 'to discover' new meaning and joy within their marriages. It is not counseling, nor is it group therapy, but it does provide quality time for husbands and wives to pause and refocus their attention on themselves, one another, and their marriages.

Since 1972, more than two million couples have attended a Marriage Encounter weekend and 80-90% say they fell back in love. My wife and I attended one of their weekend retreats in 1972 and even since then we have been meeting once a month with other Marriage Encounter couples.