Happy Relationships

How Jesus Defined Love: Matthew 5: 43-48

Thu, 29 Jan 2009 08:53:58 -0600

Mother Teresa said, "The most terrible poverty is loneliness and the feeling of being unloved." We are social animals and need one another. That’s a big reason why one out of every four Internet users visits a social networking site at least once a month. Sites like MySpace, Facebook, Friendster, YouTube and Linkedin are growing at triple digit rates.

Making friends today is easier - - but so is making enemies. One negative posting on the Internet and your reputation can be sullied.

Try as we might, some people just aren't going to like us. They might not like the color of our skin, the way we talk, the job we hold, the friends we keep, the way we worship. They might not like something we've done or something we failed to do. There is no accounting for how some people react to us.

In today's Gospel, Jesus told us to love those who don't love us. He didn't say we are to "like" our enemies; He said we are to love them. The Greek language used in early translations of the Bible had three words for love, each describing a different relationship:

• Eros love was used to describe romance, the intense passions experienced by two people of the opposite sex, who are physically and emotionally attracted to each other.
• Philia was used to describe another form of love, the type that exists between two kindred spirits of either sex, who share common interests, attitudes and experiences. They enjoy one another's company and bring out the best in each other.
• Agape, the highest form of love in the Greek language, referred to an unconditional, all-accepting, self-less relatiosnhip. It is this kind of love that comes closest to divine love, and this is the sense in which Jesus uses the term. He expects us to love our enemies unconditionally because they are children of an all-loving God. As difficult as they might be at times, they are still lovable in God's eyes.

Responding to hatred with love strengthens our own relationship with God and may just possibly change our relationship with our enemy. For instance, during the first year of the Civil War one of Abraham Lincoln's staunchest political enemies was Edwin Stanton. He traveled up and down the country criticizing the President's policies. Yet, Lincoln heard him out and decided to make Stanton his Secretary of War. Lincoln's advisers were stunned by his appointment of an enemy to such a critical post. Lincoln's reply was, "Do I not destroy my enemies, when I make them my friends?" Lincoln and Stanton became fast friends.

Friendship with Jesus: John 20: 19-31

Sat, 2 Aug 2008 09:05:18 -0500

“Except I shall see in his hands the print of the nails, and put my finger into the place of the nails, and put my hand into his side, I will not believe.”

Doubting Thomas would have made a good jury foreman. Not easily swayed by the testimony of his friends, he was an independent thinker who insisted on carefully weighing the evidence. Christ’s reaction to his friend’s skepticism shows us that God respects our sincere efforts to find the truth.

Jesus had to have a special place in His heart for Thomas. It was Thomas who, on hearing that Christ was going to Bethany (just two miles outside of Jerusalem), had said, “Let us also go that we may die with Him.”

But once they reached Jerusalem, Thomas began to express doubts. At the Last Supper, when Christ said He was going ahead and expected His apostles to follow Him, Thomas questioned Him.

“Lord,” he asked, “We don't know where you are going, so how can we know the way?”

Jesus answered, “I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me.”

Being a skeptic at heart, Thomas may have wanted to know more. But he would have to wait for the truth to be revealed. Following the crucifixion, when the disciples gathered in the Upper Room, and his friends told him they had seen the Lord, he scoffed at their testimony. After all, he had witnessed the crucifixion with his own eyes.

Yet, Thomas kept coming back to the Upper Room. He may not have been faith-filled, but he was faithful to his friends. The other cynics must have been laughing at the apostles, ridiculing their faith in Jesus. But Thomas kept coming back. He refused to forsake his friends.

A true friend is someone who believes in you when no one else will.

Eight days later, when Christ appeared again, Thomas came face to face with the Truth.

“Reach hither thy finger,” Jesus said to his friend, “and see my hands; and reach hither thy hand, and put it into My side; and be not faithless, but believing.”

What followed was the most intimate encounter with Christ recorded in the entire New Testament. Thomas placed his hands in the open wounds and uttered for the first time anywhere in the Gospel these words: “My Lord and my God.”

Up until that point, Jesus had been called a rabbi, a teacher, master and Lord. He had referred to Himself as the Good Shepherd, the Bread of Life and the true vine. Thomas was the first follower to unequivocally proclaim Christ’s divinity. In a single breath, Thomas went from cynic to convert.

Christ’s response to His friend reminds us that faith is a gift: “Because you have seen Me, have you believed? Blessed are they who did not see, and yet believed.”

Each of us believes because someone else shared the gift of faith with us. It may have been a parent, priest or friend who brought us into the Church. Now it’s up to us to pass on what we have received to our friends.

Befriended by Jesus: John 15: 12-17

Mon, 28 Jul 2008 11:31:00 -0500

Jesus placed a high value on friendship. He surrounded himself with twelve close companions and befriended everyone He met along the way. In today's Gospel, He says a true friend will sacrifice everything for you.

We all have a need for friends, not just acquaintances, but people we can count on in good times and bad. Someone once said a true friend is there when you call and sometimes before you call. A friend is someone who encourages and supports you even when you're ready to quit on yourself. A friend prays for you and with you and walks beside you on your faith journey. A good friend is someone who makes you a better Christian. But such friendships are rare. You're blessed if you have one true friend.

According to a study reported on National Public Radio, one in four Americans say they have no one to talk to about their personal problems. That's twice as many people as were reported in another study two decades ago.

The bonds of friendship are strained by the fact that we are such a mobile society - - one in six Americans moves every year. Keeping in touch by cell phone, email, instant messaging and social networking sites may help. But they can’t take the place of having a face to face conversation, a hand to squeeze or a shoulder to lean on. A friend is someone who is there when you need her or him.

In commenting on the American way of life, Mother Teresa said, "Loneliness is the most terrible poverty."

But I have come upon a relatively easy way to make new acquaintances. I simply take our little poodle, Daisy, for a walk. Inevitably, total strangers will come up to me and say, “What a cute and friendly dog. What’s her name?” Before long we’re exchanging names and small pleasantries. I might ask how long they’ve lived here; where they came from; what led them to choose this area. It’s just small talk but it can lead to a bigger relationship over time.

Most relationships begin casually, and progress from social pleasantries to conversations of more substance. Through the sharing of experiences, ideas and faith, the relationship gradually evolves into a true friendship. Quite often deep and lasting friendships begin at a church activity. And there is no better friend to take our troubles to than Jesus.