Finding Love

Love Takes Total Commitment: John 21: 1-19

Thu, 29 Jan 2009 19:51:55 -0600

“When they had broken their fast, Jesus saith to Simon Peter, Simon, son of John, lovest thou me more than these?”

After Jesus rose from the dead and appeared to His disciples on the beach of Lake Tiberius, He asked Peter three times whether he loved Him. Each time Peter answered, "Lord, you know that I love you."

Love. We use the word love so freely, without giving it much thought. We say we love to work in our garden and go for long walks on the beach. We love sunsets, painting watercolors and curling up with a good book. We love our Starbucks Mocha Frappuccino Light, our down-filled comforter on cold nights and the soothing sounds of the monks of the Weston Priory. We love our dogs.

But when Jesus spoke of love, He had something very different in mind. And, He had to know whether Simon Peter understood what He was getting at. If Peter was to lead His flock, he had to realize that love meant giving your all without counting the cost. Like a good shepherd, Peter had to be prepared to lay down his very life for his sheep.

It couldn't have been easy for a rough, gruff fisherman like Peter to openly express his feelings in front of all his shipmates. Real men don't admit they're vulnerable. To say you love someone is to show weakness, admit dependency, risk being rejected. But Peter understood what was being asked of him and he was not about to make the mistake of denying Jesus again. He knew he was being asked to risk all.

"Yes, Lord," he said, "you know that I love you."

After the third profession of love, Jesus revealed that Peter would, indeed, know the true meaning of love. He would follow Christ all the way to the Cross.

It's one thing to tell someone you love them; it's another thing to show your love. Love is more than a romantic feeling; it's a choice, a commitment that reveals itself every day in countless acts of selflessness. If Jesus were to question your love, how would you answer?

The Measure of Love: John 13: 31-35

Thu, 29 Jan 2009 17:01:26 -0600

“By this shall all men know that ye are my disciples, if ye have love one to another.”

Saint Francis de Sales once said, "The measure of love is to give without measure." In our own lifetime, we have the witness of Mother Teresa to show us what it means to give without counting the cost. She gave unstintingly of herself.

At times, the cost of love can be pretty steep. Some people are so needy that you can never do enough for them. Those relationships often reach a point where you have to set some limits, both for your own good and the good of the other person; otherwise, an unhealthy co-dependency may arise. But determining when you have reached that point isn't easy.

We all have a need to be needed. It's flattering to have someone seek your advice, ask your assistance and entrust their secrets to you. You feel privileged and honored to be called on and feel guilty saying, "No."

Yet, you are not doing anyone a favor, if you take on more than you can handle. A sure sign that you are being overwhelmed is the neglect of your own spiritual life.

As Mother Teresa said, "Everything begins with prayer." If you're too busy to pray, you're too busy.

Love Your Enemies: Matthew 5: 43-48

Tue, 17 Jun 2008 07:40:02 -0500

Mother Teresa said, "The most terrible poverty is loneliness and the feeling of being unloved." That may be what accounts for the fact that one out of every four Internet users visits a social networking site at least once a month. Sites like MySpace, Facebook, Friendster, YouTube and Linkedin are growing at triple digit rates. Making friends today is easier - - almost as easy as making enemies. Ask any teenager who has been the subject of a flaming e-mail or a derogatory post on a Web site.

Try as we might, some people just aren't going to like us. They might not like the color of our skin, the way we talk, the job we hold, the friends we keep, the way we worship God. They might not like something we've done or something we failed to do. There is no accounting for how some people react to us.

In today's Gospel, Jesus told us to love those who don't love us. He didn't say we are to "like" our enemies; He said we are to love them and pray for them. The Greek language had three words for love, each describing a different relationship:

• Eros love was used to describe romance: the intense passions experienced by two people of the opposite sex, who are physically and emotionally attracted to each other.

• Philia was used to describe another form of love: the type that exists between two kindred spirits of either sex, who share common interests, attitudes and experiences. They enjoy one another's company and bring out the best in each other.

• The highest form of love in the Greek language was agape: a love that is unconditional, all-accepting and self-less. It is this kind of love that comes closest to divine love, and this is the sense in which Jesus uses the term. He expects us to love our enemies unconditionally because they are children of an all-loving God. As difficult as they might be at times, they are still lovable in God's eyes.

Responding to hatred with love strengthens our own relationship with God and may just possibly change our relationship with our enemy.